Ask Luis? Response to Tonio. What Is Love and How Do I Know If I have Found It?


I have been in a few relationships in my life and after a few months I always feel like it’s a mistake. I usually fall for the same type tall, nice smile, and very masculine. I can usually go with the flow and do develop feelings but I’m not sure if I have ever loved someone. Growing up in a single parent environment I have never seen what love looks like. I look back at all of the people I dated and I always wonder if I have ever truly been in love. I have said it but I have never been sure. What is love and how do I know if I have found love?


Tonio —

Thank you for the question.

When you say you have never seen love because of your circumstances, I can relate but I also feel that it is up to you to break the cycle and do something different

Have you ever had a toy or a pet that you were crazy about, something that if taken away would make you sad? Then you know what it is to love something.

I know that loving a toy or a pet is not the same, however;  the reason I put it this way is because we are all capable of loving and you will know it is the real deal when you are in the right situation.

In my opinion, love is that feeling that you get when you are completely fulfilled with being with that person.

You miss them when they are not around

You cannot stop thinking about them

You cannot wait to spend time together

You feel happy when you are together

You feel like you can open up with them without being judged.

Instead of looking for that tall person that has a nice smile you may want to think about the qualities you want in a person. While physical appearance may attract you there has to be a deeper connection to call it love. The physical will change with time, but the person inside, will always remain the same.

Love does not always happen immediately it can sometime take time to grow. So if you meet someone with the qualities you are looking for, take the time to get to know each other on a deeper level.

Hope this helps.

Do you agree?

What other advice would you give?

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2 thoughts on “Ask Luis? Response to Tonio. What Is Love and How Do I Know If I have Found It?

  1. Thank you Luis for sharing. I enjoyed reading how you narrow it down and simplified the term Love for Tonio. At times the word itself could be a bit complicated for some and you did a fine job in expressing what love truly is. Once you find love it must be nurtured since it feels good to love you don’t want to fall out of love because you didn’t take time to enjoy it!

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