I’ve been having an affair with a friend for the last 6 months and I can’t deal with the secrets anymore. I feel like I need to say something but he doesn’t not want me too. I’m starting to feel like this relationship will never be what it should and that I will always be his secret. It happened so fast that I couldn’t really understand what was happening but now I’m to the point that I’m ready to face the consequences but he is not and I’m becoming a little concerned because the longer we do this the more it bothers me that I can have him to myself. I hate that this is happening and all I want is to have the relationship without having to hide it. I can’t stand the thought of him going back to his partner while I’m sitting around and waiting for him. I didn’t know where else to turn since this is not something I can talk about with anyone. I hate lying to everyone so I wanted to know should I just let the cat out of the bag?
Tired of waiting
Tired of waiting:
Thank you for your question.
I am sure that when you started the affair you knew about the current situation so by allowing it to happen you are forced to take a back seat and sit around waiting for the day when he makes the decision.
Most people who enter into this type of relationship will usually start wanting more after some time. The longer is goes on the bigger the chance that eventually someone will want to let it out.
I am pretty sure that he may not be in a rush if he is getting what he needs from both parties, so you have to decide if it will be worth it letting the cat out of the bag. Keep in mind even if you are the one to let it out does not mean he will stay with you. There is a reason why he has not said anything so you have to ask yourself “Is it really worth it?”
I know that things happen when you least expect them too, and sometimes we get caught up without thinking of the how this will affect the people around us. What seemed like innocent fun now turns to a big ball of deception because you have to cover your tracks so that others do not find out.
My advice: You have already given him six months and the situation has not changed so I would not expect things to change any time soon. Go out and find someone that is available to give you what you want out of a relationship. Nothing good ever comes out of a relationship that stats off with deception, so stay away from these types of situation.Good Luck. What do you think?
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